Ramblings- Marriage

So. I would totally love to get married. Just the entire idea of it, two people connecting heart and soul and agreeing to trust and love each other for the rest of their lives and actually MEAN IT! Sounds so amazing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the typical "I wanna grow up and have kids and get that special little suburban home and end up getting a divorce that will ruin my family. Then go psycho because I have no idea what to do with my life from that point on and drink myself into a stupor and go around dry humping people, making a complete mockery of life itself but I don't care anyway cuz I just lost my kids, my husband, and my home." I'm not marriage obsessed. I just think that the thought is nice.  I see pictures now of people I know from school, people my age and YOUNGER getting married. Having kids. I know for me personally, all that would be way too soon right now. Doesn't mean I wouldn't love to have it in the future, ya know? To be able to completely give myself to a person in every aspect, and to be completely happy with said person. Part of me thinks that such a bond doesn't even exist these days. But the other part, the optimistic part, wants to believe in it. For what is life without love? I believe it's pointless. Why can't I find that one? That one who will accept all my flaws because that's part of what makes him love me. The one that looks forward to going to bed, just because they know I'll be laying peacefully beside them. The one that enjoys spending time with me because conversation just flows, and even if interests aren't the same we're both willing to learn about the others and try to at least have fun doing it with them. WHERE DO I FIND THAT?! Everybody's been hurt too much nowadays. Trust has flown right out the window. So people put up these barricades around their real selves because they believe they won't be hurt that way. That may be true, but by doing so, you may miss the best thing in life to ever happen to you, love, and I refuse to do that. I keep my walls up about half way just for that person to finish knocking them down. And if they're the right one they'll be able to do it easily.  I wanna have a picture taken with said person, and just be able to tell by the looks on our faces, the gleam in our eyes, the smile on our face, and just the pure overall joy that we pull out of each other, that we are absolutely and completely in love. I see that in other people and I loooong for it. So badly. I just wanna hold hands. Take walks and enjoy nature. Small little kisses and arms wrapping around my waist. Being able to laugh together over the stupidest things. Being able to cry together over the most important things. When just one hug releases all the tension that's been built up since the last time you saw them. That's what I want. Can I have it, please?